Thursday, September 01, 2005

The Social Dilemma

My social circle has zero radius.It's a dot.There are people who are infinitely close.Then there's no one.The dot lies at the intersection of many circles but it remains there.I am talking terms with everyone I know.But when it comes to exchange of ideas or sharing tastes,it's back to the trusted few.

Music,movies,LAN games,TV series and sports are the major talking points for any group of people.Yeah,no books.I hate games,especially the violent ones.I would rather go outside and play something,which I do.Movies aren't great help either,but at least people look upto me for advice instead of arguing.Music gets tough when I talk about bands nobody has heard about,and don't want to talk about the ones they want to talk about.TV has similar problems with the huge fanaticism for 'Friends' and teenage dramas I detest.Books are out of question.So what am I left with?

The problem is compounded with the opposite sex,where even cricket is ruled out in most cases.At least that was the case back in school,and I didn't bother to try much after that.I had the rare fortune (misfortune?) of being partnered by girls in almost every class since 6th as bench partners,lab partners and sometimes quiz partners.And the lack of things to talk about was alarming.While in the chemistry lab all giggly girls would gather around my table and talk about the affairs of the girl who danced on top of a train in a prticular song,or a particularly obscure actor who they somehow all finded 'cute',I would be playing with acids and bases.Didn't have a clue.I used to wonder how my illustrious friends manage to talk around 2 hours on phone to the same girl.They still do and I still wonder about what they talk.

Around 12th std. when everyone felt they were going to be separated as a class,huge social groups were formed.They would talk in the recess,stay back after the bell or just gather around in the labs.Or play that horrific game of 'Antakshari'.Me and some other bored friends of mine chose to play,sometimes in 45 degree temperaturesor torrential rains rather than join in.In picnics either I was absent due to some prior comittments (mostly city quizzes) or I took along my cricket bat and ball to stay entertained.Not that 'paper-dancing' type you see.The problem came to the fore when some of my friends were dubbed "Socially backward" by the class sir when they thought it was better to play cricket than have a dance with girls! What I did on the last day of school,or the way I filled up slam books so that didn't get any later,or the 'incident' would be talked about later.Ok not the 'incident' :P

So I chose to form a closed group of friends,who not necessarily thought alike but were good company.The most important part being able to understand the oblique jokes,sarcastic remarks and other RV (my school!!) specialities that I find lacking here.It's pretty much like 'Seinfeld',where they are just not compatible with anyone else.They try,but they always find something irriating,annoying or disgusting enough to stay away.In my case,I don't try and stay away,but I don't go ahead and join in either.But they way they talk about seemingly worthless things,that's what happens with us too.

I follow a sort of middle path.A protocol.

So my social circle remains a dot.And if I try and increase it,it would become a blot.


Phoenix said...

I don't think i've read too many more sentimentally touching honest pour-outs of the mind by any blogger of late.

I hardly even know how to react; there're several things I can identify with, and several I can't. i have questions to ask you, things to argue upon, but can't find the right words at least now. Maybe I'll come back later.

Still, the whole point is, you should be happy being what you are..firstly, because u r what u r from ur own choice. That's a luxury! Two, u have people u can call as "infinitely close" to urself. That's rare. It's much better knowing just one more soul in this world, and knowing it well, than being lonely in a crowd of familiar faces...

Anyways. if talking is such a priority to you, there are things that can be talked upon..and common platforms be reached to converse. Although i essentially believe that talking "because" otherwise the world says/thinks something is stupid...

Still, i respect your protocol.

my social circle remains a dot.And if I try and increase it,it would become a blot.

I love this line...

PS I'm a gal who looovvvvveeessss cric, and hates ppl who talk of mr. someone as "sooo cute", but trust me, this has led me to much bigger difficulties of my own!

Nikhil said...


Things must have changed after school.I told you I lost touch.

And I am happy with myself.Just that from now on if anyone asks me why I don't come here,go there etc. ,I have a link to give them.

Talking is not a priority but I still wonder how long can we talk.Continuosly.I can't talk that much to my brother or mom or dad when we meet after 1 year! Maybe I'm too bad at talking.

I'm anything but sentimental and emotional!!!!!!!
That's why I am the way I am.

Phoenix said...

I can't alk to my family that much, but mostly, with alot of ppl, aeven strangers, I hit off well...and I have a good record of ppl who claim it's the easiest to talk to me among everyine theyknow(even if it's me who does most of the talking). this, and the fact that I don't leak them out, is probably the reason why I get to share so many secrets!!

I like it!

arunabh said...

thanx buddy for raising ur voice for ur
friends . yess its crystal clear in my
memory when we were dubbed ( fortunately
or unfortunately u were not there inside the
scene) " socially backwards" for playing
cricket rather than join in the silliest
game that any sane human being can think
of - " chain chain"

Nikhil said...

[phoneix] Yes now I see that!! Great,maybe someday I'll learn communication skills from you :D

[arunabh]Abe yahan kabhi chain-chain ka demo dete hain.Indian games secy ko pakad.Aur typical girly games jaise pitto,kit-kit,chua-chui,lock and key,pahaad paani aur pata nahi kya kya bhi include hona chaiyye.Afterall it's Indian tradition.

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