Tuesday, November 01, 2005

A lonely Deepawali


I am reminded of something I read a while back somewhere on the web-

"Time is a machine converting reality into memories and memories into words.In the end only words will remain,words without connotations"

A lot of things come into my mind right now,the final hours before lights take over the world around me,before the sound of crackers and universal cheer fills the atmosphere around me.Just a few years back I was a part of all this.Rushing to the market for the smallest errand,happily crowding near the cracker stalls for my share of fun,helping mom dry out and then fill Diyas,climb on every unfathomable corner of the house to put candles.Come evening and I would rush out to light all these,then get down and look back and admire my masterpiece,my home of lights.I would join my parents with folded hands near the deities,wishing for everything a kid can and maybe more.Then I would enthusiastically take my precious lot of crackers outside and watch in delight the brilliant display of lights and feel strangely satisfied with the ear bursting sound.My friends would join me and share their experiences and crackers too,after which we would make a group,swelling by the minute, and terrorise many a locality.I would come back home then and ensure that no light source goes out before I closed my eyes for the day.And then sleep satisfied.

And now,I'm sitting alone in my room,most of the people having gone home.Nowhere to go,I don't even know what I'll do this most important and festive night of the year.Don't have a clue.

Ironically if I were transported home right now,I'm not sure I would do most of things I mentioned.There are no friends to form groups with,no interest left in bursting crackers,no enthusiasm to run around and fill all those earthen lamps.Is that supposed to make me feel better,I don't know.

I had a lump in my throat while I wrote this,maybe that's why wrote in the first place.
Rightly said,only words will remain.
Shubh Deepawali Everyone!!!
Don't be as blue as me.

Stop Press:My playlist began playing "I'll be coming home next year",a Foo Fighters song.Dammit,how cruel can fate be :(

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