One thing I'm good at,probably you are too but then I won't know,is remembering these obscure stupid little anecdotes back from school.With about 12 years spent at school,this pretty much means there is at least one for every occasion.I distinctly recall this one from our 10th std. Hindi class which comes into mind given the occasion at hand.
We had this pestering teacher who taught more 'Hindi values' so to speak than the language itself.Being the usual pesky self I am,I could not stand this any longer.Ma'am found that out pretty soon and came near my bench
HT:Kya hua man nahi lag raha class me? [bored,huh?]
Me:Pata chal gaya aapko? [OMG how did you find THAT out?]
HT:Main jaanti hoon tum logon ko,Hindi movies dekhoge,gaane sunoge aur Hindi padh nahi sakte [blah,blah,blah]
Me:Ma'am aap un dono ko connect nahi kar sakte.Main Hindi gaane nahi sunta,naahi maine 2 saal se koi movie dekhi hai,lekin mujhe Hindi sahitya me ruchi hai lekin yahan wo nahi padhaya jaa raha.[Yup I said something like that]
HT(changing the topic):Aage tumhe Hindi padhni par sakti hai (she meant after 10th,when hindi aur Computer Sc. was alloted on marks basis),dukh yahan khatam nahin honge.[The pain might not stop here]
Me:Main aage Hindi nahin padh raha..[Immodest but realistic]
HT:Wo tumhare haath me nahin [You're not the one who decides]
Me:Haan hai! [Yup I do.]
(In case you wondering,I got class highest in Hindi,then topped the school which meant I was pretty much free to choose.And I did not choose Hindi.)
Anyway the story does not end here.The same teacher came to the class a few days later on what was last day before the winter vacations.
HT:Main aaj padhaongi nahi,lekin tum log sab apna New Year resolution batao.Sabse acche waale ko main chocolates doongi.[I won't teach,will give chocolates to the one with the best resolution for New Year]
The usual trash followed.Perseverance,hard work,a few 'funny' ones,'witty' ones and general blah.My turn.
Me:Ma'am aapne poori saal hume Hindi aur paschatya ka uspe dusprbhav ke baare me bataya.Lekin aaj aap unhi logon ke diye hue naye sal ko mana rahi hain.Hamara apna bhi ek samvat hai,Vikram samvat aur us din main apna sankalp bataonga,aaj nahi. [Ma'am there is a Hindi (Hindu?) calendar,and I would tell you my resolution on first day according to that]
HT [after a prolonged glare]: Tumko chocolate chaiyye kya?
Yeah,yeah all right.But I did that and I'm not a RSS supporter.I do have a 'Thakur Prasad' calendar at home but don't know how to read the 'Panchang'.A 'phoney' Brahmin afterall.
So see you on 14th of march.(I don't remember the exact date,but then so do you.)