No posts, no news. nothing? Well this blog hit an existential bloc lately. A very pretentious justification to hide a lot of things; laziness, lack of interest and that perennial shortage of time. It is not that I did not want to write something. A look at my blogger dashboard would show how the number of drafts in one page outnumber the actual posts. It was almost as if a miniature devil and angel were sitting on my shoulders, one asking 'Why blog?' and the other 'Why not?'. Not sure which was which, but one of them just won.
A scary thing that just happened was that the title I chose for this post was the exact title of one of the previous drafts. Proves that I haven't really progressed with my thinking the past few days (weeks, leading to months perhaps).
Then people all around ask, 'Why don't you blog anymore?'. I know it is just one of the things people say when they don't have too much to talk about beyond five minutes before they go into an endless loop of saying "Aur batao". But, it does make me wonder.
So here I am. My new travel intensive job has me stationed at a cement plant near Rewa, MP. I need not elaborate on the utter sadness of this place, the few and far between readers of this post would have heard enough already. A cement plant has its own virtues. You go in daily a young jet black haired boy, you come back a grey haired old man. The old age vanishes with the shampoo, but sometimes you actually feel you age that much in a day.
I have to talk with people who are on an average 15 years my senior. My job comprises listening to them patiently for 2-3 hours and then find mistakes in things they have been doing for the past 10 years. Tough job. Tougher when you have to suggest them how they can make things better, a suggestion that always does not go down very well. Then, you have the comfort that you're never going to meet these people again. I hope.
One very curious phenomenon that we have established during the course of these numerous meetings though is the 6-degree separation-IIT-association game that begins once we give our introductions. Everyone seems to have some remote acquaintance of theirs in one of the IIT's in one of the batches. And we are somehow supposed to know all of them.
Picture this. One interviewee asks me about my background.
'IIT Bombay, 2007 batch'
"Oh, you're from IIT Bombay?" (well..here we go)
'Yes I suppose'
"I know a guy in IIT B"
"He was in Mech. Dept."
"He graduated in 200x'
"He works in Yahoo now"
"Do you know him?"
'I mean a name would have helped.'
Sequence of questions with varying degrees of obscurity followed with other people.
The good things about my stay here is that they do cook Maggi, that too at demand, in the guest house. Places change, the diet remains the same. The other good thing is that the only place where I had to spend any money was when I decided to buy a football, to keep me busy throughout. And also to remind me of the way more fun times.
Coming back to the existential bloc, I probably have been thinking to much lately. It scares me, but I think I'm beginning to sift out the tragedy in my day to day life, highlight it and become one of those sympathy seeking sissies who think they are tragic heroes of the league of Hamlet. After all, the choices that I have made are all mine. More often people tend to highlight the negatives more than the positives, coming to point where they fail seeing positives at all.
You are what you project after all. Which is one the many problems this blog faced, reading back I would have despised false projections, whatever the intentions. Even in real life.
"Why not" is sometimes more powerful a question that "why"; introspection wise.